Awwww, bless your heart. You thought that because you’re an American citizen, you get to cast a vote that counts. That. Is. So. Cute.
Well, to be fair you used to be able to vote, but those days are gone. The only ones who will get a vote next time around is the Mob boss who is living in the desecrated Offal Office, his consiglieri, Gruppenfuhrer Steven Miller, and maybe the couch fucker J.D. Vance (if he stays away from the furniture). Marco Rubio will not get a vote as he is not tall enough. Of course, Donny, the Port-O-John of Presidents, will cast both Miller’s and Vance’s vote for them. Remember, Good King Donny knows what is good for you, what you need, and how expensive your groceries should be. So, yeah, let him decide what the vote is. We might as well just stay home and watch “Chico and the Gulag” on Fox.
Now, I have told you all this many times, and it is time to get it into your thick skulls that OUR COUNTRY HAS BEEN TAKEN OVER BY A DICTATOR. I hate being forced to write in all caps, because it is so childish, so Donnyish, but some of you are not paying attention.
Donny Cankles, and the coronary event we are all hoping to see soon, couldn’t have said it any plainer. “I accomplished so much we shouldn’t even have elections in 2026.” Well, there you have it. That doesn’t sound very democratic or constitutional now, does it? Let’s give it a think for a moment. Why would a shitweasel president with the IQ of a cucumber and fewer morals than Jeffery Epstein want to shut down the midterm elections?
Pro Tip: Because he will lose the House and the Senate. And if he loses the House and the Senate, he’ll be a lame, incontinent duck and will likely be impeached with the possibility of removal. Oh my! That do sound wonnerful, don’ it!?
But if the presidential bag of cat turds were to lose in the midterms, we all know that he will scream “FRAUD!” from the mountaintops and go running straight to the band of black-robed fuckmuffins on the Supremely Corrupt Court to give him, Donny the special boy, the win. And I have absolutely no doubt that Alito, Thomass, Gosuck, Kravenaugh, Rob-it, and BareIt would gladly do that because they gave a fuckin’ convicted felon total fuckin’ immunity to fuck this country over six ways to fuckin’ Sunday.
Unfortunately, Donny, the incontinent shit stain with rancid thighs of cottage cheese, feels that may not be enough to guarantee a permanent presidency. So now the chattering monkeys in his head are telling him to “nationalize voting.” Yep, you heard that right. Trump called for Republican officials to “take over” voting procedures in 15 states.
Now which 15 states do you think Donny needs to “take over”? It’s multiple choice, take your time.
1) 15 Republican Red States.
2) The new states of California, Greenland, Venezuela, and Canada.
3) 15 states that contain enough intelligent voting Democrats to win a legit election.
If you got the wrong answer, please stop reading now and go kill yourself. The children you have disappointed and your country will thank you.
The New York Times described his desire to nationalize voting like this:
“An aggressive rhetorical step that was likely to raise new worries about his administration’s efforts to involve itself in election matters.”
“A rhetorical step”??? Likely to raise new worries”??? Really??? That’s all you got?
IT IS AN ILLEGAL, DICTATORIAL TAKEOVER OF THE DEMOCRATIC ELECTION SYSTEM OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, YOU BUNCH OF IGNORANT CLOWN FUCKERS!!!”
(Again, I apologize for the all caps).
What type of horrendously heinous crime would Donald Trump have to commit to the editors of the NYT for them to issue an accurate assessment of what is happening? Take their daughters to Epstein Island? Abduct, torture and murder their parents? Kill their dog? (though dog killing is more of a Krusti Gnome type of thing).
White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt told reporters that he was “joking” and “speaking facetiously.” Until she whispered under her breath, “The fuck he was, no vote for you.”
Last week FBI agents, Tulsi Gabbard, and Trump’s SS shock troops stormed the election center in Fulton County, GA, (a county in which black people are still allowed to vote) and seized ballots and voting records from the 2020 election he lost. Ask yourself why a convicted serial sex abuser and criminal, who has been convicted on 34 felony counts, wants to steal the voting records of an old election he lost.
It’s simple, his childish whittle feeweens have been hurted an’ he’s mad. Just to be clear, the ballots were counted three times and all three times he lost. Then, on a recorded call of bribery, he tried to force Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger to “find” him 11,780 votes that didn’t exist. Even Pinochet knew not to do that.
Tulsi Gabbard, who shouldn’t have been there at all, tried to rationalize her presence by saying, “My presence was requested by the President and executed under my broad statutory authority to coordinate, integrate, and analyze intelligence related to election security including counterintelligence, foreign and other malign influences and cybersecurity.”
Oh yes, it’s those horrible malign influences, called black voters, they are objecting to.
I know this is a confusing and legalistic statement, but I’ll put it in layman’s terms for you.
“I’m gonna steal this shit so we can corrupt the data, toss out any vote marked “Biden,” and make sure the president can claim he won an election he lost and become the official dictator, rather than the de facto dictator, of our newly failed country.”
There, that should clear that up.
Donny the Douche wants to sit down with a double cheese burger and a diet Coke to count the votes a fourth time all by himself. Because he is a very stable genius, we all know that he will “find” those pesky 11,780 votes that still don’t exist and win the election he lost three times. He’ll be so happy when he wins and receives the winner trophy that he gave himself instead of that cheap plastic “nice try loser” participation trophy Slow Joe Biden gave him.
Trumplethinskin told the Times that he regretted not sending out the National Guard to seize the voting machines and change all the Biden votes into Trump votes in 2020. Yeah, that doesn’t sound very legal, but who is stopping the asshole?
And therein lies the problem: No. One. Is. Stopping. Him.
Yes, corrupting nationalizing our voting is going to work out really well for America.
Trump said today, “I could stand in the middle of a voting booth and shoot every democrat in the head and I wouldn’t lose a vote.” Sadly, he is correct, and that is what he is going to do unless we stop him.
Trump has posted on NoTruth social media platform that he wants to go further and get rid of mail in balloting and the use of voting machines. Which begs the question. Just how the fuck does he expect us to vote without mail in ballots or voting machines? By carrier pigeon? Morse code? Or maybe bicycle messenger?
Oh, oh, oh, I get it now! I’m sorry I’m a little slow. He doesn’t want us to vote at all. Got it.
