Talk Is Cheap--And Not All That Useful
In a world where
everyone has a megaphone, doing is the best way to get through the noise.
EXPERT OPINION BY HOWARD
TULLMAN, GENERAL MANAGING PARTNER, G2T3V AND CHICAGO HIGH TECH
INVESTORS@HOWARDTULLMAN1
JAN 30, 2024
I had an early morning
breakfast recently with the CEO of a Chicago tech company who's so focused on
his business and constantly in motion that he makes me feel like a slacker. He
said he had spent a few hours over the weekend building a new gaming computer
for his 16-year old son and that it had been more challenging and
time-consuming than he had expected because he was having his son do most of
the work so that he would develop his own skills and dexterity. He mentioned
that one of the critical cables turned out to be defective so that the fully
built system wouldn't work at first. But they kept at it, did some
troubleshooting, eventually found the problem, and replaced the bad connection.
Knowing him as I do, I can just imagine the steam shooting out of his ears.
Patience isn't his long suit. Perseverance, on the other hand, is one of his
amazing strengths, which he hopes to pass on to his kids.
Foolishly, I asked him
why he didn't simply buy the kid the best gaming computer out there since he
could certainly afford it. Besides, the companies selling these high-end
machines had whole teams doing quality assurance to make sure they worked right
out of the box. He shrugged and said two interesting things: first, as you'd
expect from a genius computer geek, the one they ultimately built was better
and faster than anything on the market; and second, the whole point of the
exercise was that he was building the new machine not just for his son, but
with his son, and helping him in the process as well. It was both a teaching
opportunity, a shared moment, and an important bonding experience.
These days millions of
parents are impatient, at a loss, tongue-tied, and finding it harder and harder
to effectively engage their own kids, not to mention their younger team members
at work, in substantive conversations about so many critical things: ethics,
politics, trust, antisemitism, money. These are things that matter now, and
which will matter even more in their futures. The message and the lesson that I
took away from my breakfast chat is that the most successful strategy today
isn't: (1) trying to share your "truth" with your kids or lecture
your employees on something or (2) throwing up your hands in frustration and
ending the discussion entirely.01:23
It's more about showing
them, through your actions, what's important, what matters, and why.
Don't expect anyone to
listen to your sage advice and speeches and ignore your example. Observation,
at a time when everyone's a videographer, is far more convincing and relevant
than conversation. There's tremendous untapped power in the simple act of showing
up, sharing experiences, and demonstrating that you sincerely care about the
outcome. What you do often speaks so loudly that there's no need to hear
what you say. Find time in your busy life to pitch in, to drive your kids to
their next game or activity, and to stick around to show them that you're
interested.
We're at a critical
juncture in our country. None of us -- whether we're building a
business, raising a family, or trying our best to do both -- can afford to
tune out and shut down. Or allow the pains of the recent past and the
disappointments we're feeling with our institutions, organizations, governments,
and even fellow citizens immobilize us, or lead us to believe that our efforts
are hopeless.
It's easy to lose hope
as we watch feckless and foolish former football coaches like Alabama Senator
Tommy Tuberville threaten our military and make fools of the rules and the
leaders in Congress. It's depressing to watch the border crisis and the lack of
more aid to Ukraine continue to cost lives every day while the MAGA hypocrites
in the House block bipartisan relief bills and bend their knees to the demands
of the Orange Monster -- a deviant just found liable for $83.3 million in
damages in a defamation case in New York.
And it's easy to become
discouraged when we see our creaky and antiquated court systems unable to fully
deal with many obvious crimes, lies, and attacks on our democracy, as well as
with their perpetrators. But we shouldn't accept for a moment that there's
nothing we, as parents, business builders, and concerned citizens, can do to
set the right examples for our kids and team members. Saying won't make it so,
but doing can take us a long way. Actions still speak louder than words.
Small steps and gestures
can start the ball rolling. The key to getting things done is to overcome the
pervasive inertia and angst and put yourself out there by doing something.
Whether it's a DIY project at home or joining some community action committee
at your church or synagogue or raising funds for your firm's favorite charity.
There's plenty that needs to be done and nothing that dissipates the languor
and lethargy as effectively as the satisfaction of working together as a team
to complete even simple chores and short projects. Step by step, brick by
brick, and task by task, the real objective is to restore and rebuild business
and personal connections at every level, which will eventually form the new
foundation for fair, full and honest communication. You'll hear far more
compliments than complaints because those who are pulling the oars don't have
time to rock the boat.
Your kids and newer
employees may be hesitant at first to buy into the process and be convinced
that it's authentic and sincere. That's expected, because we're all still
suffering from Trump's destructive and cynical attacks on integrity, sincerity,
and trust. But, in fairly short order, they'll catch on and surprise you with
their interest, commitment, and enthusiasm.
We may not believe that
we have the necessary strength as individuals to turn things around, but even
when strength fails, there is always perseverance. And beyond perseverance,
there remains hope. When hope doesn't seem sufficient to the task, there's love.
And love never fails. Make sure your kids know this each and every day. No
child should ever have to wonder if his parents love him.
