Words of Wisdom - "I" - Part 2

I’d buy him a drink, but I don’t know if I’d loan him any money.

I’d come a long way only to find that what I really sought was something I had left behind.

I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on.

I’d rather drink bleach.

I'd rather eat dirt.

I'd rather have him inside the tent pissing out than outside pissing in.

I’d rather work for a tyrant than a committee.

I’d rather work with tree stumps.

I'd say we have a mature, responsible attitude toward our major competitors.

We'd like to see them dead.

I'd sooner walk on my lips than speak ill of someone.

Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.

Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows.

Ideals are like stars; you can't touch them with your hands, but if you choose them as your guides, you will reach your destiny..

Ideals are peaceful; history is violent.

Ideals are replaced by conventional goals at a certain age.

Ideas are a commodity, execution of them is not.

Ideas are active even when men are asleep.

Ideas are like assholes.  Everyone has one.  But even assholes can have good ideas.

Ideas bring people together, but ideals hold them together.

 

Ideas come easier than execution.  And execution is the difference between winning and losing.

Ideas, in contrast to things, have an influence that is way out of proportion to their apparent size or power.

Ideas last longer than people or things.  Your ideas will go further if you don't insist on going with them.

If a fool throws a key in the ocean, a hundred wise men cannot retrieve it.

If a frog had wings, it wouldn’t bump its tail on the ground.

If a Jew forgets he is a Jew, a gentile will remind him.

If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.

If a problem cannot be solved, enlarge it.

If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem, but a fact, not to be solved, but to be coped with over time.

If a product differs too much from previous technology, it can be an enormous deterrent to adoption.

If a thing has enough style, substance takes care of itself.

If all else fails, lower your standards.

If all else fails, one must scream.

If all this was easy, we'd be making $12,500 a year.

If all you ever do is all you’ve ever done, then all you’ll ever get is all you ever got.

If an institution is going to be responsive, it must be insecure.

If any question why we died, tell them, because our fathers lied.

If at first you don't succeed, deny you were trying.

If change were easy, it would happen of its own accord.

If Columbus had turned back, no one would have blamed him.  No one would have remembered him either.

If constant change is the only given, then focusing on avoidance of major blunders yields better results than the single-minded pursuit of the big win.

If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me.  (W.H. Auden)

If everyone is thinking alike, then someone isn’t thinking.

If everything in a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

If everything is important, then nothing is.

If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough.

If I accept you as you are, I will make you worse; however, if I treat you as though you are what you are capable of becoming, I help you become that.

If all you ever do is all you’ve ever done, then all you’ll ever get is all you ever got.

If horses could vote, there would have never been cars.

If I advance, follow me. If I hesitate, urge me on. If I retreat, kill me.

If I am not for myself, who will be for me?

If I could control my enthusiasms, I’d be a lot easier to live with.

If I could tell you, I wouldn’t have to paint it.  (E. Hopper)

If I don’t remove the pebble from my shoe, who shall I blame for the bruise on my heel?

If  I don't rouse my soul to higher things, who will rouse it?

If I had more time, I would be briefer.

If I had some idea of a finish line, don’t you think I would have crossed it by now.

If I had something to fall back on, I probably would have fallen back on it.  If you have nowhere to go but forward, you move forward. 

If I knew how great grandchildren were, I would have had them first.

If I rest, I rust.

If I skip trying to improve my work for even one day, I notice it.  Two days and the critics know. Three days and the audience can tell.

If I tell people that chickens can pull trains, it’s their job to hook ‘em up.

If I’d followed all the rules, I’d never have gotten anywhere. (Marilyn Monroe)

If I'm going to be there for the crash, please invite me to the takeoff.

If I’m awake, I’m working.

If I’m not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when? If in doubt, don’t.

If I’m speaking, you should be taking notes.

If it ain't on the page, it ain't on the stage.

If it ain't on the screen, it don't mean a thing.

If it begins in fear, it will end in folly.

If it doesn't make you crazy, it will make you humble.

If it don't kill you, it just makes you stronger.

If it is to be, it is up to me.  (sentence of 10 words where each word is two letters)

If it is measurable, measure it. If it is controllable, control it. If it’s both, record it.

If it makes you happy to be unhappy, then be unhappy.

If it takes all the future, we’ll live through the past.

If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn’t, it ain’t.

If it works, copy it.

If it works, use it; if not, take no prisoners.

If it's almost right, it's wrong.

If it’s not true, it’s still well founded.

If it’s worth trying, it’s worth failing at.

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?  Lily Tomlin

If nerds could fly.

If Nestle only knew what Nestle knows.

If nobody pays attention, people stop caring.

If not for our excessive vanity and our over-active imaginations, novelists might be unusually difficult to deceive. The most common human act that writing a novel resembles is lying.

If not this, then what?

If not now, then when?

If not you, then who?

If not now, when?   Si Non Nunc Quandro

If mind-boggling change is the only constant, focusing on avoidance of major blunders yields better results than the single-minded pursuit of the big win.

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unimagined in common hours.

If one outcome seems overwhelmingly preferable, take it – even if it is not certain.

If only Nestle knew what Nestle knew.

If our service doesn’t meet your standards, lower your standards.

If people aren’t calling you crazy, you aren’t thinking big enough.

If people don't want to come out to the park, nobody's going to stop them.

If people know real happiness anywhere, they must never expect to find it there again.

If people want to fuck with me, I’m up to the task.

If something doesn’t feel right, you’re not feeling the right thing.

If someone is kicking my ass, I want to know what kind of shoes they're wearing.

If the answer is no, save your breath.

If the best in the business is that bad, there’s hope for all of us.

If the bird ain’t happy, the bird don’t sing.

If the chicken had lips, he’d whistle.

If the dream is big enough, the facts don't matter.

If the media builds you up, the media’s going to bring you down.

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you treat everything like a nail.

If the perception is necessarily partial, it is not for that reason false.

If the primary aim of a captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever.

If the rascals understood the advantages of virtue, they'd be virtuous for the sheer rascality of it.

If the road isn’t getting steeper every minute, watch out, because you’ve already started to head downhill.

If the shoe fits, wear it.

If there are things you don’t like about a job candidate, you’ll like them even less after you hire him.

If there is no dull and determined effort, there will be no brilliant achievement.

If there’s a well-worn path, it’s not yours.

If there’s anything more depressing than having a 10 year old tell you that school is the most boring place he or she goes every day, I don’t know what it would be. Education is a business that’s too important and too valuable to be left in the hands of educators.

If there’s no conflict, why the interest?

If there was a finish line, don’t you think we would have passed it by now?

If they pay; they say.

If three people tell you you're drunk, lie down.

If we could find God's phone number, we would call him too.

If we didn't come here to be this, then who did we intend to be?

If we don't change, we don't grow.

If we don’t turn around now, we just may get where we’re going.

If we look for something, we never find it.  But if it finds us, we immediately know when it feels right.

If we manage our growth, we'll be a lot happier with what we grow into.

If we wait until we've satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late.

If we want things to stay as they are, things will have to change.

If we're going to be gods, we might as well get good at it.

If wishes were Porsches, poor boys would drive.

If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

If you allow me my friends, I'll accept my enemies.

If you are not happy here and now, you never will be.

If you are planning for one year, grow rice.  If you are planning for 20 years, grow trees.  If you are planning for centuries, grow men.

If you are what you eat, then I’m fast, cheap and easy.

If you aren’t taking anti-aircraft fire, you are not over the target.

If you build it . . . he will come.

If you can bear to hear the honest words you’ve spoken, twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools. (Kipling)

If you can do it, it ain't braggin'.

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.

If you can meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two impostors just the same, if you can do that, you will have class.

If you can walk, you can dance.  If you can talk, you can sing.

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

If you can't be alone, you cannot be yourself.

If you can't be first, be best.

If you can't be best, be first.

If you can't be good, be fast.

If you can't be kind, at least be vague.

If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?

If you can’t commit to something big, commit to something small.

If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.

If you can’t fix it, you’ve got to stand it.

If you can’t imitate him, don’t copy him.

If you can’t join them, beat them.

If you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it. (Drucker)

If You Can’t Outsmart Them, You Can Always Outwork Them

If you can't run with the big dogs, stay up on the porch.

If you can't see your business, it won't be your business for long.

If you can't write your idea on the back of a business card you don't have a business.

If you clearly define the goal, you are halfway to achieving it.

If you could have won, you should have won.

If you deliberately set out to be less than you are capable, you'll be unhappy for the

rest of your life.

If you do it once, it’s a lesson. If you do it twice, it’s a mistake. If you do it three times, it’s a problem.

If you do it once, it’s a mistake. If you do it twice, it’s a tradition.

If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.

If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.

If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

If you don’t believe in it, why should anyone else?

If you don’t believe in sampling theory, the next time you see your doctor for a blood test, tell him to take it all.

If you don't come in on Saturday, don't bother coming in on Sunday.

If you don't got the ball, you can't shoot the ball.

If you don’t have good content, your technology is just a brick. You need content to make the device sing.

If you don't inherit it, you have to borrow it.

If you don’t invest very much, then defeat doesn’t hurt very much and winning is not exciting.

If you don’t know it’s impossible, it’s easier to do.

If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there.

If you don't know where you are going, when you get there, you'll be lost.

If you don't know where you are going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.

If you don't know where you you’ve come from, it’s hard to know where you’re headed.

If you don’t learn to be alone, you’ll always be lonely.

If you don’t love it; you will fail.

If you don't make dust, you eat dust.

If you don’t own the masters, the master owns you.

If you don’t put the work into something, you don’t know the worth of it.

If you don’t respect us, don’t expect us.

If you don’t say it in the meeting, don’t say it after the meeting.

If you don't seize the opportunity, you've set the table for someone else to eat your lunch.

If you don’t set goals, you can’t regret not reaching them. (Yogi Berra)

If you don’t visit a bad neighborhood, it will visit you.

If you don’t want to believe something; there is no body of evidence that cannot be ignored.

If you drown in the middle of the lake, or three feet from shore, it doesn’t really matter.

If you ever think you’re finished, you’re finished.

If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.

If you find yourself in a fair fight, you’ve probably done something wrong.

If you focus on results, you will never get change. If you focus on change, you will get results.

If you get a group that wants to win, you gotta let 'em.

If you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.

If you get the objectives right, a lieutenant can write the strategy.

If you give a consumer a choice between free with ads or subscription, they always pick free.

If you go alone, you can go fast. If you go with others, you can go far.

If you go into a battle, it’s better to win the first time.

If you got a frog to swallow, don't look at it too long.

If you had the real thing, how could you tell?

If you have a dream and it becomes a reality, find another dream fast.

If you have a rendezvous with destiny, you better come on time.

If you have anything of importance to tell me, begin at the end.

If you have built castles in the air,

Your work need not be lost;

That is where they should be.

Now put the foundations under them.  (Thoreau)

If you have money, people doubt your talent.

If you have potential, it means you haven’t done it yet. (Yogi)

If you have something you don’t want anyone to know, maybe you shouldn’t be doing it in the first place. (Eric Schmidt)

If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

If you have to eat a lot of shit, take big bites.

If you have to have enemies, let them be weak ones.

If you have tried to do something and failed, you are vastly better off than if you had

tried to do nothing and succeeded.

If you haven’t got a hernia yet, you ain’t pulling your share.

If you haven't got a hit, you ain't got shit.

If you haven't made any mistakes lately, you must be doing something wrong.

If you know the pieces going in, you’re much more likely to walk out with at least part of the pie.

If you know what I mean.

If you can learn from hard knocks, you can also learn from soft touches.

If you expect people to be in on the landing, include them for the takeoff.

If you had his stuff, you’d never throw the ball either. (Bud Selig – pitcher delays)

If you leave a small problem alone, it becomes a big problem.

If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never truly be fulfilled.  If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself.

If you make a mistake, make it your own.

If you make one or two ridiculous assumptions, you'll find everything I say or do totally justified.

If you only give your customers what they want, your business will die. The fact is that they don’t know what they want.

If you pay enough attention to the top line, the bottom line will take care of itself.

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.  This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

If you piss on a boulder for a thousand years, you'll be surprised at the mark you'll make.

If you plan everything, you can’t get lucky.

If you predict an event, don’t make the mistake of predicting the time as well.

If you pretend you're making a film long enough, eventually you will make that film.

If you put a wig on a pig, it’s still a pig.

If you really want to be moved, don't read a book-take an enema.

If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way; if you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.

If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.

If you see a band wagon, it’s too late.

If you see a snake, kill it. Don’t appoint a committee on snakes.

If you see a turtle sitting on top of a fence post, it didn’t get there by accident.

If you see everything with innocent eyes, everything is divine.

If you live to seek revenge, dig a grave for two.

If you sleep on the floor, you never have to worry about falling out of bed.

If you speak the truth, I will stand with you and so will the world.

If you stand by the river long enough, all your enemies will float by.

If you start to take Vienna, take Vienna.

If you stop pedaling, you fall down.

If you study something close enough and long enough, you’re going to find out more than you ever bargained for.

If you teach a bear to dance, you'd better be prepared to keep dancing till the bear

wants to stop.

If you tell the truth, it becomes part of your past. If you lie, it becomes part of your future.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

If you think you can be replaced by a computer, then you probably can be.  Tech doesn’t replace teachers, it amplifies and repurposes them.

If you think you have things under control, you’re not going fast enough.

If you think you're boring your audience, go slower, not faster.

If you torture the numbers long enough, they'll confess to anything.

If you try to please everybody, somebody’s not going to like it.

If you walk, just walk; if you sit, just sit; but whatever you do, don't wobble.

If you want a place in the sun, you’ve got to put up with a few blisters. (Dear Abbie)

If you want people to believe your promises tomorrow, it helps if you kept them yesterday

If you want people to think you are wise, agree with them.

If you want something badly enough, you will get it.

If you want the future to be different from the past, study the past.

If you want them to follow, show them the way.

If you want to be engaged, you have to buy a ring.

If you want to be in the fast lane, be prepared to run like hell.

If you want to be happy for a moment, seek revenge. If you want to be happy forever, forgive.

If you want to build a ship, don’t gather people together to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather, teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea. (De Saint-Exupery)

If you want to go quickly, go alone.  If you want to go far, go together.

If you want to have a lot of friends...lose.

If you want to have short meetings, don’t provide chairs.

If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.

If you want to lead, you have to be effective in creating a compelling vision with a beginning, a middle and an end.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

If you want to play with the big boys, you gotta learn to play in the tall grass.

If you want to reach more people, aim lower.

If you want to send a message, use Western Union.

If you want to solve an interesting problem, find a problem that interests you.

If you want to take the island, burn the boats.

If you want to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh or they’ll kill you.

If you want to truly understand something, try to change it.

If you want to win the uncommitted, you got to stay uncommitted.

If you want traction, you must first have friction.

If you want your dreams to come true, don’t sleep.

If you wear the mask long enough, it becomes the face.

If you will it, it is no dream.

If you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you have to fight with all the odds against you.  You may even have to fight when there is no hope of victory.

If you wish for peace, prepare for war. (si vis pacem para bellum)

If you won’t talk to your cat about catnip, who will?

If you work hard enough and assert yourself, and use your mind and imagination, you can shape the world to your desires.

If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.

If your enemy surrenders, it's only because he couldn't kill you.

If your pictures aren’t good enough, you’re not close enough.

If you're all fired up, you're harder to extinguish.

If you're angry, people will focus on your anger.

If you're going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it.

If you’re going to innovate, you have to be willing to be misunderstood because you’re doing something that’s never been done before.

If you’re going to rebel against high-heeled shoes, it is best to do it in a smart hat.

If you're going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance.

If you’re going thru hell, keep going.

If you’re going to nail yourself to a cross, you might as well know what it’s made of.

If you're hungry, sing; if you're hurt, laugh.

If you're in a hurry, you're in the right place.

If you’re gonna be in the paper, be on Page One.

If you’re losing a tug-of-war with a tiger, give him the rope before he gets to your arm.  You can always buy a new rope.

If you’re not at the table, you’re on the menu.

If you’re not criticized, you’re probably not doing much.

If you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it.

If you’re not failing, you’re failing yourself.

If you’re not good, Jeff will chew you up and spit you out. If you’re good, he will jump on your back and ride you into the ground.

If you’re not having a bad week, you’re not in a good start-up.

If you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road.

If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never come up with anything original.

If you’re not the hardest working person on any team you’re on, you’re not going anywhere.

If you’re resting on your laurels, you’re wearing them in the wrong place.

If you’re the top guy, every problem is your problem.

If you’re waiting for a schedule, you’ll be too late.

If your mother didn’t give it to you, we can’t (enthusiasm)

If your mother tells you she loves you, check it out.

If you’ve got a bug that you can’t get rid of, call it a feature.

If you've got more than one frog to swallow, swallow the biggest one first.

If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never come up with anything original.