I wrote recently about the need for parents heading back to the office to honestly explain to their kids why they work. I said avoid blaming it on the need to make money in favor of more meaningful reasons, such as trying to make a difference in our own and in others’ lives.
There’s another conversation we need to have with our kids as they return to the real world. They will be inundated with peer pressure after soaking in all the social media junk, the fake lives and lies of influencers, and all the other noise and clutter online.
It’s natural to want to prepare the path and prevent or protect your kids from what they will face. But if you can’t prepare the path, you can at least try to prepare your kids for the journey.
There are many resources, experts and opinions about what to do and say in this regard. My advice comes from my own particular experience and expertise—decades of hiring thousands of new employees and seeing what attitudes, mindsets and mental tools helped them succeed. My own daughters, of course, would never admit father knows best, so take my advice with a grain of salt.
Tell your kids three very important things.
1. You love them unconditionally and always will. Eventually they’ll learn that you make your own luck and fortune in life, but it helps a lot to feel loved in the meantime. Having your folks have your back is the best way to start. Friends come and go, but your family is always there for you.
2. It’s OK to fail sometimes as long as you gave it your best, but it’s not OK to quit in the middle. Giving them permission to fail without accepting those failures as warranted or inevitable is critical. Save the alibis, explanations and blame for someone else. There’s no such thing in the real world as a good excuse.
3. Learn to let things go. Not everything can be fixed, finished or saved. Mistakes happen to everyone. The trick is not to dwell on them. Fix them, learn from them, make the best of them that you can, and move on. The best athletes have “in game amnesia”— they forget the past flops, missed shots and bad calls so they can focus 100% on the present and make the next shot count.
(Follow Howard on Facebook, Twitter @tullman , Instagram and LinkedIn)
