By Trevor Stone Irvin | January 18th, 2026
Ok people, try and pay attention. Because apparently you haven’t been. According to the New York Times, what we see is not what’s happening. At about 5:00 a.m. this morning I started reading an opinion piece from (and this is the only area I agree with Donald Trump) the failed New York Times.
So, I want to talk to you about authoritarianism and autocracy that the NYT says we don’t have. We only have a smidge of it currently, nothin’ to worry about.
The NYT’s opinion piece is titled:
Are We Losing Our Democracy?
DID I MISS SOMETHING? IS THERE A FUCKING QUESTION ABOUT THIS???!!!
The usual band of idiots and cowards on their “editorial bored” compiled a list of 12 markers of democratic “erosion.”
Don’t worry, people, it is just a little “erosion.” A good landscaper can fix that.
I’m going to try and unpack the stupidity and purposeful blindness of this disastrous newspaper article and its floundering editorial board. The following is how that band of editorial misfits sanewashed the definition of authoritarianism and autocracy that is ravaging this country. The NYT’s comments are in boldface.
Here is their first “marker.”
No. 1
An authoritarian stifles dissent and speech. Trump has started to.
Many forms of speech and dissent remain vibrant in the United States. But the president has tried to dull them. Our country is still not close to being a true autocracy, in the mold of Russia or China.
Really? It sure fucking feels like it is a true autocracy. In fact, you mutton-brained chowderheads, it is a true autocracy. Autocracy means governed by a single person with unchecked power. Just where are all the people that are supposedly “checking Trump’s power”? Cuz’ it sure as fuck isn’t the Congress or the Supreme Court. Is there ANY doubt that Donald Trump is not only in charge, but is doing literally anything he wants to do? Donald is the definition of unchecked power. If you Googled “asshole with incontinence and unchecked power” his orange pumpkin head will appear. He doesn’t obey the courts. He doesn’t obey the Constitution. He has literally said, “The only power that can stop me is me and my own morality.” Boy, that’s rich. That’s a fucking quote, you shitferbrained journalists. He has created death camps in the swampy depths of the Florida Everglades. He has incited a coup at our Capitol. The Supreme Court has made him immune from any decision or act during the execution of his duties of the office of the President. (Notice the word execution?) Literally everything he does is in the execution of his presidential duties. His immunity is total. He can force universities and television stations to only say what he wants them to say. He has cowed all the major media outlets. Is it only called authoritarianism when every single citizen, every television station, every news outlet, every politician, every talk show host and every business in America is muzzled, locked up or deported? Or does a third or half of them muzzled, terrified, and incarcerated qualify as being Russia-ish and “true autocracy?” Is there some sort of false autocracy I’m not aware of.
I guess getting shot in the face is called “vibrant dissent” at the NYT’s these days. What “amount” of free speech do you have to stifle to be officially called an “true autocracy?” The Times has the audacity to call his corruption of free speech, illegal incarceration, and the violation of our basic constitutional rights, “dulling dissent.” You fucking cowardly assholes!
He has thugs roaming our streets in any “blue” state he wishes, (no red states) and their only orders are to remove American citizen’s physical freedom. Then incarcerate them, deport them, and when the mood strikes, kill “the fucking bitches,” for expressing their “free speech.”
I don’t call that “vibrant forms” of free speech. I call that “terrorism and killing people.” Full Stop.
No. 2
They go on sugarcoating Trump’s persecution of his enemies by saying:
True authoritarians go much further than Mr. Trump has.
By the NYT’s standards, Trump is simply serving us the diet salad dressing Kraft Authoritarianism Light – only ten persecutions per serving.
An authoritarian persecutes political opponents. True authoritarians go much further than Mr. Trump has, but he has already targeted his opponents with “legal persecution” in shocking ways.
Whaaaaaaaa??? Jest call me Betty and slap jelly in my ears, I done thought persecushun wuz illegalish. When did “legal persecution” become a thing?
For the record: Persecution is illegal both internationally and domestically, and it is recognized as a serious violation of human rights.
Just so I’m clear, you’re saying “targeting them in shocking ways” isn’t “far enough” and simply trying to throw his enemies into prison isn’t “authoritarian enough.” Does he have to kill his political enemies before you call it “real persecution?” He incited his MAGAT mob to storm our Capitol, tried to hang Mike Pence, and kill people on Jan. 6th. Even republican Josh Hawley thought he was going to die. He ran like a frightened school boy who had just caught a case of cooties from a mean girl. I think Jan. 6th qualifies as persecuting his enemies.
Here’s a beaut:
No. 3
When a democracy slides toward autocracy, the leader often finds ways to neuter the legislature. His administration has violated federal law at least six times by withholding funding authorized by Congress. In full autocracies, legislatures often formally transfer some of their authority to the executive, and some congressional Republicans have proposed this.
Oh, oh, oh, we are gently sliding toward a “partial” autocracy, not a full one? Got it. My bad.
What are we then, a half-full autocracy?? Do you have to violate federal law 20 times to be a “full” authoritarian? You stupid shitbirds, if you haven’t noticed, he fucking owns Congress. Mike Johnson shut it down just for his special good buddy Donny. He invaded a foreign country without getting congressional approval. Pro Tip: When you can make Congress do whatever you want or simply tell them to fuck-off, there is no need to formally transfer its authority.
No. 4
An authoritarian uses the military for domestic control.
Well duh. Does the editorial board even get a newspaper or have seen a televised news report? How does thousands of ICE white supremacist thugs roaming the streets, terrorizing residents at will, not qualify as domestic control? The National Guard was deployed in Washington DC to intimidate residents (and to rake leaves and pick up trash).
Mr. Trump’s use of the military for domestic control has been limited.
Oh, again, I guess we are a “limited” autocracy. I feel much better.
No. 5
An authoritarian defies the courts. Trump has started to. It is a hopeful sign that he has not ignored the Supreme Court.
Oh. Ma. Gawd! Where in FuckAll do you find “hope” it that? He is defying the courts right and left, and he fucking owns the Supreme Court! He stacked it himself you ignorant gonad garglers.
No. 6
Authoritarians often curtail democracy by declaring an emergency and arguing that the threat requires them to exercise unusual degrees of power.
News flash, NYT: HE DECLARES A NEW EMERGENCY EVERY GODDAMNED DAY.
Mr. Trump’s recent predecessors were not perfect on this issue.
Oh, it’s Ok, Abraham Lincoln suspended habeas corpus during the Civil War, and of course, Joe Biden deployed thousands of marines to protect his hundreds of Slo Joe’s Child Sex & Cocaine Emporiums.
Mr. Trump’s willingness to kill people without due process, through the blowing up of boats that American officials could instead stop and search, represents one of his most extreme abuses of power.
OK, this “one” of his extreme abuses of power bothers you a bit. I get it. Are two extreme abuses of power enough to be called an authoritarian? Or does it have to be three extreme abuses of power to get your panties all in a twist? Please tell me. I want to know when I need to run.
No. 7
Authoritarians tend to demean minority groups, trying to turn them into a perceived threat that provides a justification for a leader to amass power. Mr. Trump is borrowing from the autocrats’ playbook by suggesting that some citizens are legitimate and others are second-class.
News flash: Trumplethinskin doesn’t “tend” to demean minority groups. He flat out demeans the shit outa them. He hates them. He loathes them. In his mind they are abominations to be purged from the clean white blood of our country (Sounds a little German, don’t it?). He calls minorities every foul insult his rancid brain-vomit can expel out of his horrid, puckered anus mouth. He is arresting and deporting them with no due process. Trump isn’t “borrowing” from the autocrat’s playbook. Fuck no. He bought the book and is living it page by page. When you write he is “suggesting” some citizens are second-class, it is pervertedly insulting to what is going on here. You make it sound like he is only “borrowing a half cup of authoritarianism” and will replace it when he is done baking his dictator cobbler. “Suggesting” people away to foreign prisons and countries is offensive and a crime
No. 8
An authoritarian controls information and the news media. Trump has started to.
No, I don’t think “starting to” control the information begins to cover it. This shitstain of an opinion piece is proof of that. If you had any decency, balls, or journalistic integrity you would quit the job you are incapable of performing this very moment and go protest with the people who are being incarcerated, shot, and killed. Then maybe you will wake up.
No. 9
An authoritarian tries to take over universities. Trump has started to. Trump forced the resignation of the University of Virginia’s president.
Again, with that “starting to” thing. He is not “starting to.” He is doing it. When someone has done it, it is not “starting to” anymore. He is ending the Dept. of Education, removing any university professors of brownish ethnicity, removing women professors and canceling their courses unless they teach his beloved white superiority propaganda. That isn’t enough autocracy for you?
No 10
An authoritarian creates a cult of personality. As he put it, “I alone can fix it.” He seeks to equate himself with the federal government, as if it does not exist without him.
OK, it sounds like you don’t like this one, but it still isn’t “full” autocracy right? Do we have to be able to smell the smoke from the ovens first in order to stamp “Full Autocracy” on our letterhead?
No. 11
An authoritarian uses power for personal profit. Trump has. Authoritarians often turn the government into a machine for enriching themselves, their families and their allies. Mr. Trump glories in his administration’s culture of corruption.
Ding, Ding, Ding!!! We have a winner! The New York Times actually tripped and fell into a fetid bucket of journalism by accident! Good for you, boys. How does it feel to write one true sentence?
The other day Trump asked for one billion dollar buy-in to become a permanent member of his newly formed, infamous “Board of Peace” (correctly spelled Bored of Peace, as in I’m bored of this peace, let’s invade Greenland). The money is to be controlled by him personally in an offshore account. Yeah, that does sound a little corrupty and autocratish to me.
No. 12
An authoritarian manipulates the law to stay in power. Trump has started to.
What? Started to? How many times and how many years must he “start to” control and corrupt our laws and elections with his fraudulent, cheating schemes before it’s not “starting to” anymore and becomes “This is how he is fucking you?”
Do you think Trump’s illegal manipulation of our elections and laws has a starting and stopping point? His entire life, all his businesses, all his relationships, even his marriages, begin and end with transactional lies, cheating, and corruption to usurp all the power he can get his grubby little hands on.
Trump owns billionaires in this country; he owns billionaires in other countries. He owns his private SS ICE storm troopers. He and his oligarch billionaires have purchased, for cheap, six members of our Supreme Court. Billionaire tech bros run our stock market. Billionaires, money launderers, cocaine merchants and pedophiles all buy their way out of prison or into influence by making a “contribution” to our Dear Leader. Not to our country, but to him. He has cowed and threatened members of his own party daily. He has intimidated all the dying old media. He has attacked our Capitol and killed people on our streets. The Trump administration is corrupt from the day it began and will be corrupt until the day it ends. If it ends.
The other day he said that he won so big “There shouldn’t be elections.”
Dear NYT, we are a full authoritarian, autocratic dictatorship right fucking now!
When are you blithering idiots at the NYT going to wake up and do your fucking jobs?
