30 Million Jobs Added
in August Report
Big America. Records broken. Trump good.
Aug 01, 2025
In an astonishing economic turnaround, Donald Trump’s Labor
Department announced the addition of 30 million jobs to the American economy in
its August labor market report, by far the largest single-month gain on record
for U.S. non-farm payroll employment.
The previous record was 1.4 million in August of 2020, an
astounding 2,143% increase.
Last month, Trump fired Erika McEntarfer, the former U.S.
Commissioner of Labor Statistics, after the July report showed a paltry 73,000
jobs added to the U.S. economy, which Dr. McEntarfer oversaw in her capacity.
Trump accused her of manipulating the numbers for “political purposes.”
She has not been heard or seen in public since.
This also shatters the record for total jobs added by any
presidential administration, completely overshadowing Bill Clinton’s 23 million
jobs over eight years, Joe Biden’s 16 million jobs over four years, and Barack
Obama’s 11 million jobs over eight years.
Thirty million is roughly the total population of Texas. In
one month.
“President Trump is, um, truly the greatest economic genius
in history,” said a Labor Department economist from behind the podium in the
White House Press Briefing Room, sweating profusely, occasionally stuttering
during his remarks, while White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt glared
at him from behind.
“Frankly, I—uh—never thought this was possible, and
President Trump has accomplished something here that’s beyond imagination. It
is the greatest honor of my life to work for President Trump.”
Ms. Leavitt loudly cleared her throat.
“Oh, uh, yes—of course,” said the Labor Department
official, “Lest I forget: um, we have every reason to believe the October jobs
report will show a similar increase. That would mean at least 60 million jobs
added in just two months.”
He took a pause to shakily wipe sweat from his brow.
“And those numbers are confirmed by all available data.
President Trump has, um, officially eliminated unemployment. I was so thrilled
last night that I took my wife and children—whom I love very much—out to dinner
to celebrate. And I held them very close. And told them I loved them. I love
them so much, and I hope President Trump knows how much they mean to me.”
“Wrap it up, nerd,” Ms. Leavitt appeared to mutter.
“Y-yes, of course. That’s all,” said the economist. “Any
further questions can be directed to Ms. Leavitt.”
He then scurried out of the room, refusing to answer
follow-up questions.
With unemployment now officially a thing of the past, Ms.
Leavitt announced her boss has moved on to a new goal.
“President Trump will solve hunger in our country by next
month,” she asserted, her gold cross necklace glittering.
“We will eliminate all malnourished people within four
weeks time.
