Trump’s
henchmen always end up in the shark tank
Opinion by
Columnist
Dec. 17, 2020 at 3:01 p.m. CST
Forget all of the
insider accounts. To truly understand the Trump administration, you have to
study the collected works of James Bond, 007.
In the Bond films,
there is no more dangerous job than being the villain’s henchman. If Bond
doesn’t kill you, your own boss likely will. SPECTRE doesn’t tolerate failure, and those who don’t
succeed are likely to be dismissed not just from their jobs but from their
lives. You would think that Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Dr. No, Le Chiffre and all
the rest would show some consideration to the loyal henchmen who labor so hard
to carry out their plots for world domination. But no. One mistake and you’re
fed to the sharks or piranhas —
or simply electrocuted in your chair.
That is pretty much
the fate of Trump’s most nefarious henchmen — minus the killer fish, of course.
They’re still alive, but they’re dead to Trump. It doesn’t matter how many
norms or even laws you violated on the president’s behalf. If you do one thing
wrong (i.e., right) by failing to carry out his latest and most dastardly plot,
you are likely to wind up in the shark tank — metaphorically, of course.
Attorney General
William P. Barr was dismissed more gently than most.
Trump tweeted on Monday
that Barr had “done an outstanding job” but was “leaving just before Christmas
to spend the holidays with his family.” But otherwise Trump has made little
attempt to hide his fury at his attorney general. He was irate before the
election that Barr refused to indict Democrats such as Joe Biden for
unspecified crimes.
It was, Trump said, “a very sad, sad situation.”
Barr further saddened his boss by admitting that there was no evidence of
widespread election fraud. Sadness turned to “sayonara” with the news that Barr had
properly refused to disclose investigations of Hunter Biden’s financial
dealings. “Bill Barr should have stepped up,” Trump fumed.
Trump seemed to
forget all of the times that Barr did “step up” when he shouldn’t have. Barr
lied about the findings of then-special counsel Robert S. Mueller III, falsely
claiming Trump had been exonerated. He went easy on Trump cronies, moving to
dismiss charges against Michael Flynn and reduce the sentence of Roger Stone.
He even appointed a special counsel to
probe the FBI’s investigation of the Trump campaign’s dealings with Russia.
“Barr will go down in history as the worst attorney general of our
lifetimes,” wrote Joyce Vance,
a law professor and former U.S. attorney. But no matter how far Barr went in
undermining the rule of law, it was never far enough for Trump.
Barr’s fate recalled
the downfall of his predecessor. Jeff Sessions had been the first senator to
endorse Trump, and as attorney general he faithfully carried out Trump’s
xenophobic agenda by implementing a “zero tolerance” policy at the border. But
all Trump cared about was that Sessions had appointed a special counsel to
investigate him — as he was obligated to do under the law. The president spent
months publicly denigrating his own attorney general (“beleaguered,” “VERY weak,” “DISGRACEFUL”) before
summarily dismissing him.
Something similar
happened with former defense secretary Mark T. Esper. He was so faithful to
Trump that he was nicknamed “Yesper.” He did not publicly challenge the
president’s pardons of military personnel accused of war crimes. He praised
Trump’s “excellent and bold leadership” during the pandemic. And he even
marched with Trump across Lafayette Square for a bizarre photo op made possible
by gassing peaceful protesters. But he lost Trump’s support by refusing to
unleash troops on demonstrators. His short tenure ended with a curt Trump tweet
on Nov. 9: “Mark Esper has been terminated.”
Other once-loyal
retainers, such as former White House chief of staff John F. Kelly and former
national security adviser John Bolton, have received venomous vituperation from
Trump after daring to criticize him.
Former House speaker
Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.), who carried Trump’s water in the House and swallowed his
doubts, is now derided by him as a “RINO” (Republican in
Name Only). Even Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky), who is
responsible for most of Trump’s domestic achievements, such as they are, has
earned Trump’s displeasure for belatedly admitting that Biden won. “Too soon to
give up,” Trump lectured him on
Wednesday. “Republican Party must finally learn to fight.
People are angry!”
In the cruelest cut
of all, Trump has now turned on Fox News, his shameless and dishonest
propaganda organ. While Fox News’s prime-time hosts continue to indulge the
fantasy of massive voter fraud, Fox News’s news operation angered Trump by
correctly calling Arizona for Biden on election night and
by calling the whole election for him four days later. Trump just retweeted actor
Randy Quaid: “TIME TO MAKE OAN & NEWSMAX RICH. FOX IS DEAD TO ME!” Because
of the withdrawal of Trump’s support, Fox News’s ratings have been sagging while
Newsmax’s ratings have been surging.
I wonder if Trump’s
toadies saw it coming? Or did they somehow miss decades of Bond movies? I hope
at least they will enjoy an ice-cold martini — shaken, not stirred — to
tranquilize their fall from presidential grace.
