What Do You Tell Your Kids When the Leader’s a Liar?
Everyone
Else (Spouses, Parents and Peers) Wants Answers Too.
General managing partner, G2T3V and Chicago High Tech Investors
The old laugh lines and Catskills
zingers aren’t that funny any longer because these days the joke’s on us and
it’s a situation that’s beyond sad. We have a liar for a leader and there’s
just no other way to put it. In the face of such horror, humor is impossibly
hard. But we need to say something to our kids and everyone else in our lives
who are trying to make sense out of this cynical charade. As numb as we all are
at the moment, it’s dumb to stay quiet any longer.
We once said that you could tell when a politician was lying to
you because his or her lips were moving. Today we have a leader who lies the
way (and just as easily) as most people breathe. It’s beyond second nature to
him; it’s in his very DNA. He doesn’t merely lie to secure a certain objective
or interest (apart from his reelection); he lies because he enjoys it, because he
can’t help himself, and because it’s a central part of his deeply-flawed
character - whatever that may be. And because he intuitively believes what
Thomas Jefferson said so many years ago: “A
continual circulation of lies among those who are not much in the way of
hearing them contradicted will in time pass for the truth”. If Trump has a credo, this is it: A lie
repeated often enough becomes the truth.
We laughed that the difference
between a car salesman and a computer salesman was that the car salesmen knew
he was lying to you. The computer guy barely understood what it was that he was
selling. Trump knows he’s lying and knows as well exactly what he’s trying to accomplish.
To scare us, to turn us against each other, to always blame the “other”, and to
incessantly aggrandize himself. It actually seems to be getting worse. His
brief and quickly aborted attempt to declare himself King wasn’t very different
from the claims in ancient France of Louis XIV that “l’etat c’est moi”. Trump
thinks saying makes it so and claimed that: “when somebody’s the president of
the United States, his authority is total”.
This embarrassing,
baseless, and arrogant assertion couldn’t even survive a single news cycle
before the petty braggart had to back it down. When tin-pot dictators (and
wanna-bes) lose the people’s trust, confidence and belief, they seize upon
authority as their final claim of support. The truth is that no one ever believed
in Trump – he was a cartoon and a joke from the get-go – but unfortunately too
many people – each acting in their own self-interest – saw him a weapon and a
vehicle to secure their own aims. They held their collective noses, looked
elsewhere, and let the clown run wild. We have only one person to blame for
this mess and that’s each other.
Lies often reveal who
and what the liar wishes he could be, and Trump has desperately sought the
approval of the powerful and the media since his earliest days. He was by his
own account always the biggest, the best, the loudest, but he was never taken
seriously. He has been a farcical caricature and, as he berates the press to
their faces in the White House (and forever soils the place with his venom), we
see just how bent and bitter he truly is. It’s pathetic and beyond embarrassing
to see this out-of-control reality show character singling out and slandering
the press and, by extension, the public’s interests which they attempt to
represent. The press may deserve a fair amount of criticism and contempt for
its own shortcomings and failings, but his actions are simply beyond the pale.
Now the Cheerleader in
Chief thinks he’s gonna unilaterally adjourn Congress so he can jam through a
further bunch of mediocre nominees and know-nothings using recess appointments.
This stupid ploy is equally doomed - even head Senate flunky Mitch McConnell
already rejected it - but it’s also very reminiscent of an old Hollywood quote
from Samuel Goldwyn about his employees which couldn’t be more fitting and
timelier for our current circumstances. He said: “I'll take fifty percent efficiency to get one
hundred percent loyalty”. And boy, don’t we know that and see it every day in
action. Lying may be an essential part of politics but lying to yourself (as
Trump does every day) and believing your own lies is pathological.
To make things worse, Trump’s
ego’s so fragile and sensitive and so easily offended that, for the slightest
perceived slights, he pummels the press and even his own people and rubs things
in their faces (especially the medical professionals) on a daily basis right
before our eyes. He’s an overbearing bully, a mini-martinet, and a Twitter-retweeting
weasel to boot. Samuel Goldwyn’s most famous observation fits here too. He famously said: “I want everybody to tell me
the truth even if it costs them their job”. Honestly, you can’t make this stuff
up.
The humorous definition of a “gaffe”
once was when a politician accidentally told the truth. President Trump has
repeatedly demonstrated that he subscribes to that great rhetorical line from
the War Dogs movie: “When does telling the truth ever help anybody?” Inconveniently for him, the truth is
confusing, detailed, messy and ill-suited for sound bites and storytelling. It’s especially challenging for someone with
an infant’s attention span, not a drop of patience, no desire to learn, and no
interest in detail or accuracy. Trump’s a lazy man who hides from the truth, hears
only what he wants to hear, and ignores/disregards the rest.
So we’re left in this
ongoing and immoral morass with the question of what explanation, what excuse,
what rationalization, or even what justification can there be for tolerating the
daily circus we’re subjected to on TV by this narcissist who believes that the
sole truth lies within him (in his infinite wisdom and fact less judgment) and
who, at best, pays only fleeting lip service to the data, the experts, the
professionals and to anyone with a view other than his. And, more to the point, how do we fairly
describe for our families just what is happening to our government and our
country and why we can no longer in good conscience believe its duly elected,
but clearly deranged and dishonest, leader.
This
is no easy task or conversation to have with people (young or old) who have
been raised (as we all have) to respect the office of the president, to err on
the side of goodness and give any occupant the benefit of the doubt in terrible
circumstances, and to believe that anyone in such a position of trust and
responsibility would act – not in his own selfish interest and for favored
special interests - but for the good of the country as a whole.
But it’s just not
happening as anyone would expect (because this character has no soul and no
shame) and it couldn’t be a more critical and timely topic when the facts, the relevant
timeframes, and the gross and inappropriate behaviors are fresh in mind, when the
most critical choices and decisions still remain to be made, and before the
history is rewritten to create and promote the success stories and the
celebrations of Trump’s “triumphs” which are sure to occupy far more of his
time and attention going forward than the continually mounting numbers of sick
and dying people across the country.
So, what do you tell
your kids today? Start by telling them what it takes to be a real leader.
(1)
Leaders can cast shadow or light. Everything about Trump
is dark and divisive.
(2)
Leaders must understand that they’re part of something greater
than themselves. Trump actually believes that he’s the king of the world.
(3)
You’re not a leader until others believe that you are putting
them first. Trump is about nothing but Trump.
(4)
A leader never blames his people for his failings. Trump is utterly
incapable of accepting either blame or responsibility. He blames everyone but himself.
(5)
Leaders can either swell or grow. We can only hope, as
the swelling and bloat continue, that Trump bursts one of these days.
