Saturday, May 18, 2024

Trump’s synchronized sycophants


 


Now playing off-Broadway: Trump’s synchronized sycophants

Outside the courthouse, a Greek chorus of mini-Trumps dutifully dances to the former president’s choreography.

 

By Dana Milbank

Columnist|

 

May 17, 2024 at 6:30 a.m. EDT

 

 

Sen. Tommy Tuberville knows a great deal about the judiciary. The Alabama Republican is on record asserting that the three branches of government are “the House, the Senate and the executive.”

 

And so this week, the former college football coach took his expertise in jurisprudence to Donald Trump’s hush money trial in New York, watched for a few minutes and came out to offer reporters his legal analysis.

 

“How can you be convinced by somebody that is a serial liar?” Tuberville wanted to know. “I mean, there should be no reason that anybody should listen to this guy.”

 

One hundred percent, Coach! Tuberville was talking about the witness, Michael Cohen, but he didn’t have the self-awareness to realize he was also describing the defendant, perhaps the most famous liar in American history.

 

The Manhattan Criminal Courthouse was overflowing with lying liars this week. Inside the courtroom, Cohen testified about all the lies he told for Trump: lying to Congress, lying to the public, lying about Trump’s involvement with Russia, lying about Trump’s alleged trysts and how Trump bought the silence of his accusers. Trump’s lawyers, in their cross-examination, sought to convince the jury that the former Trump fixer is so prolific a liar that he is still lying, as are Stormy Daniels, Karen McDougal and anybody who accuses Trump of anything, ever. Trump himself, in statements to the cameras in the hallway outside the courtroom, lies about the terms of the gag order, the “corrupt” judge, the view of “everybody” with legal experience that he committed “no crime” — and whatever else comes to his lips.

 

In the park across the street from the courthouse on Tuesday stood the speaker of the House, the man second in line to the presidency, lying like a rug. Without a shred of evidence, Mike Johnson alleged that “the judge’s own daughter is making millions of dollars” off of the trial. He claimed a prosecutor in the case had “recently received over $10,000 in payments from the Democratic National Committee.” He alleged that, in Trump’s classified documents case, prosecutors “manipulated documents” and “might have tampered with the evidence” — conduct “so egregious” that it caused that trial to be “indefinitely postponed.” All false or, at best, deeply distorted.

 

It was demeaning to the office of the speaker, and to Congress, for Johnson to be trashing the criminal justice system as “corrupt,” and nakedly campaigning for Trump at the former president’s trial. He was one of a parade of MAGA legislators making a pilgrimage to the courthouse this week. On Monday came Sens. Tuberville and J.D. Vance (Ohio) and Rep. Nicole Malliotakis (N.Y.). On Tuesday came Johnson and a quartet of Republicans all dressed as Trump mini-mes in blue-gray suits, white shirts and red ties: Reps. Cory Mills (Fla.) and Byron Donalds (Fla.), North Dakota Gov. Doug Burgum and former presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy. On Thursday came so many House MAGA Republicans — including Matt Gaetz (Fla.) and Anna Paulina Luna (Fla.), Bob Good (Va.), Andy Biggs (Ariz.) and Eli Crane (Ariz.), and Lauren Boebert (Colo.), and at least five others — that the House Oversight Committee had to postpone its planned vote to hold Attorney General Merrick Garland in contempt of Congress.

 

The speaker owes his job to Trump, who earlier this month opposed Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s attempt to oust him. In a sense, all of the lawmakers flocking to New York owe their jobs to Trump: One cross word from him, and they’re out faster than you can say “primary challenge.” And so they performed for Trump outside the courthouse as a troupe of synchronized sycophants.

 

“This is a sham trial!” said Trump, inside the courthouse.

 

“Sham of a trial,” parroted Johnson, outside the courthouse.

“Sham trial,” repeated Vance, Malliotakis and Biggs.

“A crooked sham trial,” said Good.

“This is a sham,” echoed Mills.

“A politicized sham,” offered Ramaswamy.

 

“There’s no crime!” said Trump, inside the courthouse.

“There’s no crime here,” repeated Johnson, outside the courthouse.

“There is no crime,” said Donalds.

“What is the crime?” asked Ramaswamy and Boebert.

 

“It’s election interference!” proclaimed Trump.

“It is election interference,” chorused Johnson.

“It’s election interference,” said Burgum.

“Election interference,” said Gaetz and Good.

“Election interference at its finest!” said Mills.

 

President Biden is “weaponizing the Department of Justice,” announced Trump.

“Weaponized DOJ,” chorused Boebert.

“Weaponized against President Trump,” Johnson echoed.

“Weaponization against our president,” repeated Mills.

 

 

The Greek chorus dutifully echoed Trump’s claim that the case is a “scam” and a “witch hunt.” They repeated his bogus assertion that the “Federal Election Commission said there’s not a problem, there’s no case.” (In reality, a deadlocked FEC dropped the case after Republican commissioners said it was redundant because Cohen had already been convicted of an election law violation.) They endorsed his nonsense accusation that “Biden’s office is running this trial” in New York state courts. And they seconded his constant complaint about the “unconstitutional” gag order. (An appeals court this week upheld the order, saying Trump’s statements “posed a significant threat to the integrity of the testimony.”)

 

That gag order primarily prohibits Trump from “making or directing others to make public statements” about witnesses and family members of participants in the proceedings. Yet that’s exactly what seemed to be happening outside the courthouse this week, with the closely choreographed statements attacking prosecutors, jurors and, particularly, the judge’s daughter.

 

“The judge inside, his daughter is making millions of dollars running against Donald Trump,” said Vance, using the same phrase — “making millions” — that Johnson did on Tuesday and that Rep. Ralph Norman (R-S.C.) did on Thursday. Rep. Mike Waltz (R-Fla.) claimed “we have a judge whose family is enriching themselves on what’s happening today.” Ramaswamy claimed “you have a judge whose kids are collecting money from Democratic operatives by fundraising off the very trial that that judge is presiding over.”

 

They offered not a shred of evidence that the judge’s daughter, who works at a political consultancy, has made a dime off the trial. Even if she had, the judge had solicited an advisory opinion from New York’s Advisory Committee on Judicial Ethics, which concluded that “the judge’s impartiality cannot reasonably be questioned based on the judge’s relative’s business and/or political activities.”

 

Was Trump “directing” this attack on the judge’s daughter? The chorus had a rehearsed rebuttal to this, too. “President Trump is a friend, and I wanted to be here to support him,” said Johnson.

 

“I wanted to be here to show some support for my friend,” said Vance.

“I’m here, and all of us who are here, as friends of Donald Trump, supporting him” was Ramaswamy’s version.

 

“We’re here voluntarily supporting our friend, President Trump,” said Gaetz.

 

On social media, Gaetz posted a photo of him standing behind Trump in court with the message “Standing back and standing by, Mr. President” — referring to Trump’s 2020 debate instructions to the Proud Boys, whose leaders were convicted of seditious conspiracy related to the Jan. 6, 2021, insurrection.

 

That’s what friends are for. “I do have a lot of surrogates and they are speaking very beautifully,” said Trump.

 

Trump, in agreeing Wednesday to participate in two debates with Biden, in June and September, said his opponent “can’t put two sentences together.”

 

It’s a risky line of attack from a guy who, at his most recent rally in New Jersey on Saturday, confused Jimmy Carter with tennis legend Jimmy Connors, mistook Beijing for Taiwan, and announced, in reference to a fictional psycho-killer and cannibal: “The late, great Hannibal Lecter is a wonderful man.” His attempt to say “carried out by radical Democrat” first came out as “carried owby rgbgb tdai.” His first attempt at saying “Biden’s border invasion” came out as “Biden’s bordeneep.” He movingly told his followers that “this nation does not belong to this,” and he imagined his recently deceased mother-in-law “looking down right now. She’s saying, ‘That’s a large crowd of people.’”

 

At least as disturbing were the things Trump said clearly. Manhattan District

Attorney Alvin Bragg is “Fat Albert.” Former New Jersey governor Chris Christie is a “fat pig.” The end of Roe v. Wade, giving states the power to ban abortion, “is something that we should cherish.” Democrats believe in “executing the baby after birth.” Biden has a “sinister plan to abolish the suburbs. … He will destroy your property value. He will destroy your wealth.” Windmills “destroy everything” and “ruin the environment.” Trump’s political opponents (“these lunatics within our government that are going to destroy our country and probably want to”) are “more dangerous” than Russia and China.

 

Trump, as usual, made up facts as he went along. Gas in California “just hit $7.21 today.” (Actual price: $5.32.) The federal government’s employment numbers “are totally fake,” yet “we get credit” for the recovery in jobs under Biden. After the rally, Trump announced that there were “over 100,000 people. ... A lot of the mainstream media didn’t want to say how many people.”

 

Never mind that even Trump loyalist Jesse Watters on Fox News said that the reporter he sent to the event thought the crowd was “closer to 30,000.” The speaker of the House, who wasn’t at the rally, backed up Trump, saying outside the courthouse that there were “over 100,000 people in New Jersey — by some estimates, far more than that.”

 

Four years ago, Trump held daily covid briefings from the White House, spouting nonsense as his public health experts stood behind him. Now he’s giving daily briefings from the courthouse, with his lawyer, Todd Blanche, standing silently behind him. The routine is getting stale. Trump is still citing his go-to legal analyst, Jonathan Turley. He’s still complaining about the cold in the courtroom. He’s still saying (falsely) that “you can’t get one person within three blocks of this courthouse” because of security. Then he goes into the courtroom and falls asleep. “Trump’s lawyers seem on edge through this part of Cohen’s testimony,” went a delightful dispatch from the New York Times’s Jonathan Swan this week. “Trump, however, is very much not on edge. His eyes are closed and he appears to be dozing peacefully.”

 

He can rest comfortably because his lawyers are doing exactly what the client wants: attacking and complaining.

 

Opening his cross-examination of Cohen, Blanche asked: “You went on TikTok and called me a ‘crying little sh--,’ didn’t you?”

 

“Sounds like something I would say,” Cohen replied.

 

“Objection.”

 

“Sustained,” said the judge, admonishing Blanche: “Please, don’t make it about yourself.”

Blanche continued. “You referred to President Trump as a ‘Dictator Douchebag,’ didn’t you?”

 

“Sounds like something I said,” replied Cohen.

 

Under questioning by both prosecution and defense, Cohen freely admitted to the innumerable lies he told to protect Trump, and himself. He spoke of being “knee-deep into the cult of Donald Trump,” and of the mob-style pressure Trump and his envoys put on him not to flip: “You are loved. Don’t worry. He’s got your back. … Sleep well tonight. You have friends in high places.”

 

And he explained that, in 2018, he “made a decision, based on the conversation that I had with my family, I would not lie for President Trump any longer.” Now, he testified, “I regret doing things for him that I should not have: lying, bullying people in order to effectuate a goal. … To keep the loyalty and to do the things that he had asked me to do, I violated my moral compass, and I suffered the penalty.”

 

If only Trump’s sycophants amplifying his lies outside the courthouse would come to a similar epiphany.

 

Yet there they were again Thursday afternoon, attacking the judge, his daughter, the prosecution and witnesses. Some invented new slanders that even Trump hadn’t attempted. Rep. Andrew Ogles (R-Tenn.) referred to witness Stormy Daniels as a “hooker” and a “woman who was paid for sex.” Luna called Cohen someone who “screams explicitives (sic) against President Trump.” But, mostly, they dutifully parroted Trump’s own words — particularly about the “judge who is totally corrupt.”

 

“Corrupt judge,” said Good.

“Corrupt judge,” said Boebert.

“Corrupt judge,” said Rep. Michael Cloud (R-Tex.).

“Corrupt judge,” said Gaetz.

 

If the goal was to make a scene at the court, they had some success. A heckler shouted “Beetlejuice” at Boebert. A guy walked behind the lawmakers with a poster saying, “TRUMP WON.” And, as Gaetz spoke, somebody else held a hand-lettered sign above his head with a pithy summary of the moment. “BOOTLICKERS,” it said.